I had Aubrey when I was very young. I had no idea what I was doing (who really does). I had never changed a diaper, much less even hold a baby. I was terrified. But somehow together we figured it out. She was my world and that world consisted of everything Dora and princess. I tried to give her everything she deserved but like most parents I always felt like I fell short of the mark.
When Aubrey was three I became a single parent. I didn't think anything could have been harder at the time but looking back it wasn't so bad. We didn't have much but we made the most special memories. Making cookies for Christmas, Bedroom forts, and road trips. I was working full time plus more and going to school full time. I hardly got to spend any time with her but that only meant we made the most of time we had. We struggled VERY hard financially but somehow we pulled through together.
I met my now husband when Aubrey was four almost five and from the very first meeting between them both it was like we were always meant to be a family. He was the 'spider squishing' hero (lol!)she had needed in her life, and they have had a bond ever since.
I think now as she is becoming a young adult we butt heads more than ever, its because I see so much of myself in her and am terrified she will make the same mistakes I've made. I don't want her to go through the heartache and struggles I did. Although in telling you all of this, I am realizing that all of those poor choices have led to amazing rewards. The most wonderful endings sometime begin with the roughest of roads. If Aubrey only learns one thing from my mistakes I hope it is that.
So if I have to sum Aubrey up Id say she is a smart mouthed, sassy, pain in my butt Id like to strangle sometimes. Which truly means she is an intelligent, independent, young lady who's loved more than life itself. :)
(Reposted from a comment that was mailed to reallifemillers@gmail.com)
ReplyDeleteLove the blog.
Too bad years ago when my daughter was growing up I could have shown her what my life was like and what I went through without her father. I know she has questions about her father. This would have been a good way to just show her it's hard to explain the way things were and WHY.. Life throws you curves sometimes. The trick is to remember you have a little life that dependes on you to be strong and not be a nut case. Lol they see your feelings no matter how hard you try and pull yourself together. In all there just little people. Keep up the great work no matter how boarding you think it is. Those of us that arnt there it helps feel what each of you are going threw. So what's up Aubrey. She looks depressed.. Just saying.
In Alaska xxoo